Some people dread negotiations. The idea of haggling and being involved in a contentious discussion makes them uneasy. These people lack confidence and may feel intimidated. They often avoid negotiation situations or concede quickly. A popular perception exists that negotiation is something that happens in a smoke filled room between business experts under an aura of mystery and secrecy. Of course, negotiations do occur between experts under a shroud of secrecy. More often, however, they happen in much less obscure settings. In fact, almost everyone is involved in some form of negotiation on a daily basis. Informal negotiations are regular occurrences between friends, relatives, and co-workers. A parent trying to get a child to eat their vegetables, a teenager pleading for a later curfew, or two people debating what movie to watch are informal negotiations. More formal examples include dickering with a salesperson over the price of a new car, a discussion with a supplier to determine the details of a contract, or working out the terms of a job offer with an employer. Formal negotiations usually have higher stakes, and that can cause uneasiness in inexperienced negotiators.
With informal negotiations being so frequent, almost everyone is capable of – and often achieves – good results. Most people, however, do not fare as well in formal negotiations. That is largely because they do not understand the critical factors in negotiation, the sources of power they have, or the best approach to take in a given situation. Salespeople and professionals who make ‘deals’ for a living receive extensive training and are well versed in the fundamentals of negotiation. The average person is not. And that just exacerbates the lack of confidence and feelings of intimidation. People who lack confidence in negotiations automatically cede an advantage to the other party. And if they lack skills and experience it is no surprise that they cringe at the thought of visiting an auto dealer to buy a new vehicle or dealing with a high pressure salesperson.
It doesn’t have to be that way. Effective negotiation requires competence in a set of essential skills and awareness of the fundamentals. Whether needed in business or in your personal life, anyone can acquire those skills. And with a solid understanding of the process and tools, anyone can negotiate with more confidence and get better results.
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