According to many psychology experts, the average person is subjected to hundreds of influence attempts every day. Influence attempts are present in advertisements, selling and buying situations, disagreements, debates, discussions, or any form of everyday negotiation. Interacting with people involves influence so often that we may not even notice it. Although it is an important skill, many people are unaware of exactly how influence works and are less effective trying to persuade others as a result.
Have you ever wondered why some people have more influence than others? For the longest time I thought certain people just have a knack for persuasion, like the typical salesperson seemingly born to sell. I was not born with that knack. But twenty years ago, after years of frustration, not having my projects approved, and struggling to get ideas adopted at work, my perception was altered when I stumbled across an article in a psychology magazine. It said there are eight sources of power everyone has in varying degrees depending on the situation and people involved. It went on to state that there are common influence tactics that can put that power into action.
That article piqued my interest and I started to read up on the topic. My research gave me insight into my power sources and I soon began experimenting with different influence tactics. I was surprised how a slight adjustment in my approach could deliver much better results. I also became more aware when I was the target of influence attempts. And I realized that even if you are not born with that knack, you can develop it.
I was a manager in a large corporation at the time, and by applying what I had learned, I was able to receive funding for several projects, had more of my ideas adopted, and even got approval to add to my staff. This newfound knowledge of power and influence made me much more successful as a manager. My status in the organization rose and I was benefitting in a major way. This was fantastic! I felt more capable, more powerful, and more confident.
Then one day something happened that completely changed my perspective. It was a cold rainy Monday morning and one of my staff members – a guy named Pete – appeared in my doorway. He had a very solemn look on his face and looked like he hadn’t slept in a week. His face was ashen and there were dark circles under his eyes. I knew he had been taking a lot of time off to care for his wife who had been ill. He told me his wife’s condition had become much worse and he would need to take care of her full-time for six months or longer. They had no relatives in the area so he was her only option. She had already lost her job and had no disability insurance. Because he had exhausted all his paid time off, he knew company policy would dictate that he request an unpaid leave of absence. Pete was a loyal and dedicated worker who had rarely taken a sick day in the twenty years he had worked for this company. He was visibly worried and his voice cracked as he spoke, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. I knew enough about Pete’s situation to realize this was an enormous crisis with serious personal and financial implications for him and his wife.
Uttering words to the effect of, “we will think of something” I promised that we would find a way to help him. I told him not to worry, and I sent him home to take care of his wife. To be honest, I was not sure what I could do. Company policy was very clear and at the time people were not allowed to work remotely. In addition, his job responsibilities were all on site, so it seemed working remotely wouldn’t be a viable option.
As I walked into my staff meeting later that morning, the room was abuzz. Everyone knew about Pete’s situation and wanted to help. We spent most of the meeting brainstorming ways we might help him. The team generated a bunch of really creative ideas, and we thought they would work. Unfortunately, all of them were against company policy. When the meeting ended, I took the flip charts with the ideas to my office and hung them on my wall. The ideas were great, but how would we get around the company policies?
Then I started thinking about how to build a case for helping Pete. I made a list of our power sources and identified key people who might help us. I pulled together a small team and we developed a proposal incorporating our best ideas. Even though all the ideas in our proposal were against standard policy, we presented them with an appeal to the urgency of Pete’s personal situation.
Because we understood our power sources and selected the right influence tactics, we received approval for a trial period of our ideas. Ultimately the trial was successful and we got Pete and his wife through their crisis. (The company later adopted some of our ideas as acceptable exceptions to policies for people in similar situations). That event convinced me how important understanding power and influence is, not just for my own benefit, but to be able to help others.
Since that time, I have spoken about ‘The Power of Positive Influence’ across the country and I’ve developed a simple method to help people identify their power sources and select the best influence tactics in a given situation. This is not rocket science. In fact, most people already use their power and influence with fairly good results. The difference with my method is that it pinpoints the best tactics, augments insight into interpersonal dynamics, and increases the likelihood of success. It also helps you recognize when these tactics are being used to influence you.
My hope is that understanding this information will help people in their influence attempts and enable them to use their new skills to benefit others. Unfortunately, there are people who use their power to manipulate and take advantage of people. We see this ‘abuse of power’ in business, in politics, and in other areas of life on a regular basis. My approach advocates for a positive use of power and influence because manipulation is unethical, can erode power, and often results in adverse bilateral ramifications. My focus is on an ethical application that results in a benefit for the person being influenced. A byproduct of this approach is that you can actually increase your personal power through this approach. Increasing your power sources can augment your ability to influence, and the people you influence can go on to use their power in a similar way. That is what I call ‘the power of positive influence’.
Would you like to be more effective influencing others? Who could you influence in a positive way?